Pride before fall?

That is just a saying. But maybe its true. I failed my circuits class for being so much of myself. It still stings. It's a hard pill to swallow but I should be a chameleon really.

That brings me to the other point. Change depending on the person bringing the problem. And use psychology. Use goddamn psychology. It works.

Being a chameleon. There will be pros and cons on being one. The pros would be a lucrative path oiled up by fake smiles and sweet talk, I hate say this but people are stupid, do it or die.

Again, one point to ponder is that I'm already twenty years old, I'm now an adult, I should be working, building my house, driving my car, having a wife and kids. That's what was supposed to do, right? But my life was enshrouded by responsibilities. First a responsibility to pass all my quizzes and exam as a student, responsibility to be a man, earn money, provide food, do the tough work, discipline the children, do not be murdered, know the legal shit, it's hard to be a man, you must carry a fucking load, you must carry a fucking load. Then you ask, what's the incentive in all of this futile work? It's gives you a purpose to live that's why you idiot. We are all Sisyphus. We are all Sisyphus. Fucking mules. Do all the hard work then go through the knife. Bullshit. But you must. Because you have self respect and you don't want to be a loser so now you want a house you want a car you want wife and kids. Let's say I'll marry tomorrow and then I have my kid at the end of the year, maybe I'll father four also, two year gap, so when I'm already forty, my first will be 20, second will be 18, third will be 16, last will be 14. So when I'm 44 they are all adults. What the fuck am I gonna do now? My strength is failing and my dreams are covered in dust of work. So what do I have when I'm 46? Money, wife, house, car. Retire and wait for death? What the fuck! How about today? Strength and intellect. And what do you do? Pondering shit. Then what should I do? Fuck? Travel? Just be a slave. Why dwell your thoughts on your weakness. This is a loser mindset. There are millions of losers out there. Why join?